Never Enough

Why is it no matter how much money you make it is never enough? It gets so exhausting, wondering how you're going to pay your bills, and buy school clothes. I know there is no way to change what is, but it just makes me nervous!! It would be so nice to just be able to go school shopping, or to the grocery store, and just get what you need, and not worry, how much is going into the cart, what should I put back? I don't want to buy shit I don't need, you know just the basics!!
I finally made a appointment with an attorney. I want to find out what and how the laws work as far as disability. I have been unable to work for many years. My friends know, I have suffered from depression, extreme anxiety, and Bi-Polar disorder. I have filed for disability years ago. I applied two times, they denied me both times. I never fought it. They told me I hadn't worked enough hours in that quarter, to draw any disability. Well, of coarse I hadn't. I would try to work, and was always unable to keep the position due to mood changes, and anxiety. I don't think I should be penalised because of my inability to work. I did work cleaning the offices, where my husband works for about a year. The only reason I was able to do that, is because Steve, and the boys went with me and helped me. There was no one there at the time but us. There was nothing or no one to make me nervous, but I didn't take any social security out of our checks, because we were only making about $4Io a month. I hope the attorney, has some news that will help. As I mentioned before, my medication is very expensive and it is causing us a hardship, as far as our bills. If I have to have them filled, the cost together is $304 a month. I called Steve's insurance company, they offer prescriptions by mail, so I signed up for that, I will get three months of med, for what I am paying for one month now. I am relieved, that will help some!!
I was told, that SS denies you, you may be able to draw on your husbands SS. I don't want to do that, but, at this point at least until we can get our heads above water it would be a blessing. I see the attorney on Monday. It doesn't cost me anything unless they win my case. The only thing I have to pay out of pocket, is for the copies of my medical records. WOW, there is allot of those. I hope all the headache is worth it and I get some good news!! I know there has to be allot of people getting disability, that really don't need it, or that are just getting it because they are faking some kind of back injury or what have you. I sort of feel like a looser going to do this, but we really need some help. I could have done it years ago, but I just kept putting it off, because of that reason. Why can't I just work like everyone else? If I have to get disability I am a waste to society, living off of other peoples money. I am still really having a hard time!! I am going to talk to this attorney, just to hear if I have any options, or if it is definitely a no. The SS office, had once told me, that I couldn't draw it because of Steve's income. For a family of four we were right at what we could have coming in, and I didn't qualify. Maybe that will be the case. But I have decided to find out if I have any options. If not, nothing lost. It is a free consultation. We will go on as normal. If there is something I can do, I really need to do it. It is so unfair to my sweet Husband, to struggle so much on his own to take care of us. It really hurts me, and makes me feel even worse. I am nervous to go talk to an attorney. It makes me very nervous. I am going to try to in list a friend, to go with me. I am hoping Melanie, can come along. Steve can't because of work. Well, I suppose I have vented enough, and shared my newest endeavor. I hope all goes well. Keep me in your prayers!

Thanks for reading!
Sandi